The Mental Health Perspective

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” Dr. Seuss, U.S. author & illustrator (1904-1991)

The term “coming out” is an abbreviated version of the expression, “coming out of the closet,” which is equivalent to revealing one’s sexual orientation. Coming out is not a single episode but a process extending across one's life span. Since the prevailing assumption is that everyone is straight, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning (LGBTQ) individuals are constantly challenged to decide when, where and how to challenge that assumption by revealing their sexual orientation.

The process of coming out involves moving through several important stages and is not a “cookie cutter” experience. Each person negotiates the coming out process differently.

The coming out process begins with the personal recognition and acceptance of one’s sexual orientation. This can be an extremely complicated and stressful stage. Most people are socialized to fear and loathe homosexuals; very few are conditioned to be gay affirming, much less accepting of one’s own homosexuality. The internalization of homophobic messages from the larger culture leads to emotional and psychological conflict for children who eventually identify as LGBTQ. In fact, many individuals delay the coming out process well into adulthood because of these societal pressures.

After coming out to one's self, later stages involve revealing one’s sexual orientation to others, as well as acting on/exploring one’s attractions, feelings and desires. These stages are facilitated by the affirming encouragement of friends, family, clergy, co-workers and helping professionals. The LGBTQ community also can provide guidance, support and resources throughout the coming out process. With each positive experience of coming out to others, internalized homophobia is diminished and healthy self-esteem developed. Even so, coming out can be a perilous journey and requires a thoughtful assessment of the pros and cons that may result.

Given the risks involved, why come out? It’s simple: coming out allows one to live life as a fully integrated human being, free of self-limiting beliefs and capable of developing and maintaining a cohesive identity. Coming out relieves one of the constant fear of being “found out” and helps LGBTQ individuals avoid the trap of living a double life. Lying, hiding, pretending, “passing,” denying—all of these take a huge toll on the human psyche. The mental and emotional energy required to present a false face to the world is exhausting and eventually corrodes self-respect.

Here are some potential benefits of coming out:

• Creates freedom to live life honestly and with integrity
• Fosters self-esteem by accepting and promoting personal truth
• Fosters closer, more authentic relationships with family and friends
• Diminishes stress of hiding one’s orientation
• Alleviates isolation by connecting with other LGBTQ individuals and their allies
• Helps individuals become educated about the LGBTQ community, its history and how this knowledge provides kinship and belonging
• Empowers LGBTQ individuals to speak out and counter hurtful stereotypes
• Serves as a role model for others.

An important resource in the coming out process can be a mental health professional. Not so long ago, this would have been considered an ironic statement. For many years, the American Psychological Association (APA) considered homosexuality a mental disorder. However, overwhelming evidence resulting from empirically-based research eventually led to the APA overturning its position in 1973. Homosexuality is now viewed as a normal variation of the human sexual drive and ethical practice standards demand that all mental health professionals work with LGBTQ individuals in an affirming, supportive and respectful manner. No less a figure than Sigmund Freud had the following to say on the subject: “Homosexuality is assuredly no advantage, but it is nothing to be ashamed of, no vice, no degradation, it cannot be classified as an illness . . . many highly respectable individuals of ancient and modern times have been homosexuals, several of the greatest men among them (Plato, Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, etc.). It is a great injustice to persecute homosexuality as a crime, and cruelty too.”

Current practice models emphasize concepts of health and resilience. Whatever conflicts arise around sexual orientation are the result of a maladaptive fit between individual needs (i.e., actualization of gayness) and a homophobic world. Gay affirming psychotherapy and support services attempt to educate LGBTQ individuals about the negative effects of homophobia, promote self-empowerment and the creation of a support system, as well as developing paradigms of sexuality, relationships and family that are based on a positive view of homosexuality rather than conformity to societal prejudices.

Center on Halsted (COH) was an early pioneer in the provision of supportive mental health services. Shortly after the APA’s historical policy change, the organization took a lead role in offering affirming, safe and affordable services to Chicago’s LGBTQ population. It also provided advocacy, training and research on behalf of LGBTQ individuals seeking services in other settings.

The Center continues this tradition today through its quarterly coming out workshops. These services have a rich history and enjoy a strong reputation of quality throughout Chicago and the nation. In the words of one lesbian, “The coming out group helped me develop a vision of myself based on what is possible rather than impossible.” In addition, the Center provides psychotherapy to individuals, couples and families, as well as a variety of support groups and services aimed at facilitating healthy development across the lifespan. At COH, coming out is celebrated every day. Let us be a part of your personal journey! You can call the Client Services Coordinator at (773) 472-6469 x261 or visit our website (www.centeronhalsted.org) for more information.

Jason T. McVicker, LCSW, RDDP
Director of Mental Health Services

Horizons Youth Program Observations

We are consistently amazed at the courage our youth display when they walk into our program for the first time. Many come with friends but many more come alone, searching for a safe place and others who share their identity. What they find is a community of diverse individuals, all trying to make their way in the world as they discover who they are.

The Horizons Youth Program celebrates these young people and supports them in their education, their job searches, and their relationships. Our coming out groups offer opportunities to explore the pain and the joy of coming out to families, doctors, teachers and friends. Together, youth learn to support one another as they tackle some of life’s biggest challenges. In doing so, they become caring and responsible young adults, prepared to lead our community and our society.

Janine Denomme
Horizons Youth Program Director

Horizons Youth Program Hours of Operation
General hours of operation are 3 p.m. to 8 p.m. Monday-Thursday (case management by appointment begins at 2 p.m. weekdays) and 12 p.m. to 5 p.m. Saturdays.

COLLEGIATE COMING OUT BALL
Roosevelt University's Congress Lounge
430 South Michigan Ave, Chicago, IL
Friday, October 13th
Time: 7 p.m.-Midnight
Cost: $5 in advance; $10 at the door

The annual Coming Out Ball is an amazing opportunity for young people between the ages of 16-24 years of age, from all orientations and backgrounds, to come together to celebrate their lives and share in a common community. This year, our featured story is "Peter Pan", an elaborate theatrical dance and drag performance, which unfold throughout the night. Most proceeds from the ball will be donated to two Chicago LGBTQ inclusive organizations this year: Teen Living Program, and Creating Safe Schools Illinois (formerly known as GLSEN Chicago).

Community & Cultural Programming

Book Recommendations

Title: When I Knew
Author: Robert Trachtenberg
Paperback: 128 pages
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0060571462

Documentarian Trachtenberg (American Masters: On Cukor) brings together the comical, sometimes bitter and always poignant moments when gay men and women first realize (or admit) the truth about their own sexual preference.

Title: Now That You Know: A Parent's Guide to Understanding Their Gay and Lesbian Children, Updated Edition
Authors: Betty Fairchild & Nancy Hayward
Paperback: 281 pages
Publisher: Harvest/HBJ Book; 3rd edition
ISBN: 0156006057

If the coming out process is difficult for gay people, it is often equally difficult for their parents. Confusion, anger, and fear frequently cause fathers and mothers of gay men and lesbians to disavow, strike out against, and even resent their children. For many parents, a child's coming out feels like the ultimate rejection--not only of their dreams and hopes but of their own heterosexuality. In Now That You Know: A Parent's Guide to Understanding Their Gay and Lesbian Children, Betty Fairchild and Nancy Hayward--the mothers of, respectively, a gay man and a lesbian--have charted the rough seas that almost every parent of a gay person travels.

Play Recommendation

To Save Him

In large part a response to the Bush Administration's push for the Federal Marriage Amendment, To Save Him is an exploration of the limits of devotion between a mother and son, and invites us to question how we think and discriminate in this country.

Pay-what-you-can previews are Monday, Oct 9th and Tuesday, Oct 10th @ 8 p.m.

There is a special opening performance on National Coming Out Day (Wednesday, Oct 11th) @ 8 p.m.

Bailiwick Arts Center
1229 W Belmont Ave
Chicago , IL 60657
773.883.1090

Regular performances Sunday @ 5 p.m., Mondays and Tuesdays @ 8 p.m., through Oct 31st.

Tickets $10-15.

http://www.bailiwick.org/calendar/show_detail.php?ID=227

Anti-Violence Project

Center on Halsted's Anti-Violence Project will be holding its 3rd annual Vigil to remember victims and survivors of violent crimes in the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender community October 16, 2006. This year we have the opportunity to collaborate with Roosevelt University as they welcome Judy Shepard, mother of Matthew Shepard, as their featured speaker.

The idea of National Coming Out Day is one that should be celebrated, a time to reflect on one’s journey and continuing process. The Anti-Violence Project recognizes this, and recognizes that not all “out” people are respected and treated fairly.

October is also Domestic Violence Awareness month. Community members that experience domestic violence may have difficulty “outing” the violence in their lives. An abusive partner may use “outing” as a power and control tactic. The Anti-Violence Project provides crisis counseling and advocacy for individuals who experience violence in their lives.

Anti-Violence Project Vigil
Monday October 16, 2006
5:30-6:30 p.m.
Spertus Lounge at Roosevelt University
430 S. Michigan Avenue, 2nd floor

For information, call 773-472-6469.